I have been driving for 3 days from New Mexico to Pennsylvania. I lived in New Mexico for a few years and recently I could not find enough work so I had to pack my car with a few things and drive back to where I grew up. I had to let go of a lot of recently discovered friends and relationships. I had to let go of a certain comfort I had being so close to the activities I so loved. And I had to face my Pride. I felt I was doing something so good for myself. And here I was crawling back to mom because I just couldn't make it.

It has made me see how little is required to survive. I was eating almost nothing everyday (no fruits, veggies or meat - they were all too expensive) because there were other things more important to pay for. Like heat and hot water and gas for my car so I could get to my 1 day a week job.

I long time ago I realized I felt guilt when I drove by a homeless man begging. Now as I drive by them I feel a sort of familiarity because I have become that beggar. I am currently living with thousands of dollars of debt, no job and no address. It doesn't mean I am lost and broken. It means I am capable of surviving something I never dreamed I had to face. And I can honestly say that when I had everything (a house, a job, close friends, food, etc.) I had a sort of arrogance thinking that living without all of it would be so easy.

But actually living it is something else entirely.

It is a struggle to keep your mind positive when everything is telling you that you have failed. It takes a strong Will to keep the belief that even though things seem to keep getting worse, at one point, they will get better. There is no blaming a God for doing this to me. At one point I made a choice, and this is what I had to face to take responsibility for my choice. It is no one's fault. It is simply what happens.

I am not out of the weeds yet, so to speak. But I refuse to let this situation get the better of me.

I am still alive. So there is still something that can be done about it.

For those of you who have supported me through this so far,

Thank You.

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And what would a journal be without a few features?

Enjoy

   

        

   

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Hello friends!
Just a quickie feature of some of my most recent finds.

Enjoy!


    

    

         

         

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“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche



          

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“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.”
- Emile Zola




         

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“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”
- Thomas Merton




         

    

    


“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.”
- Edgar Degas




    

    

    


“Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”
- Oscar Wilde





         

    

         


“When you make music or write or create, it's really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you're writing about at the time. ”
- Lady Gaga


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“When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.”
- Ansel Adams




    

         

    


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Thank you all for taking the time to check out these amazing artists!

For more information, please visit my Blog by using the link at the bottom of this page.

Hope to see you all there!







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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”
- Plato





“Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.”
- Cassandra Clare


              


“There's a sorrow and pain in everyone's life, but every now and then there's a ray of light that melts the loneliness in your heart and brings comfort like hot soup and a soft bed.”
- Hubery Selby Jr.





“Green was the silence, wet was the light,
the month of June trembled like a butterfly.”
- Pablo Neruda


         


“You have to find what sparks a light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world.”
- Oprah Winfrey




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